Today is one of those days when so many things get thrown at you that instead of buckling — because hey, you need a job — you listen to really old music and try to prioritize, while failing at it miserably.
I spoke to a lot of people, and all I can think of is the intarsia knitting sitting in a cubby in my apartment, my sweet little puppy napping in her crate, and my boy picking up some groceries on the way home. I’m positive that the joy I feel about that entire sentiment will fade with time, but right now, it brightens me, lightens me, and gives me hope for the weekend.
9-5 is only horrible if you don’t have a good book to read on the way (I’m halfway through the Hunger Games after day 2 of reading it). Actually, it’s still pretty horrible, even if you love everyone you work with.
The worst fears of my adolescence have actualized themselves in my life. Sure, I have options. I’m 23. But I feel an old 23, a 23 that has married and had children and welcomed responsibilities to take over her time. I feel like an 1800’s (or, let’s be real, pre 1980’s) woman.
What could I be doing instead? Changing the world? I guess, yeah.
I’ve always wanted to write a screenplay, be a CEO, help women and children. I’ve always wanted to work for a cause. I’ve always wanted a bookstore/concert venue/rental space that I could rent out in a small town, a la One Tree Hill.
One step at a time, though. I went to see Kirstine Stewart, CEO of Twitter Canada yesterday at the Women of Influence Luncheon, and she said, and I don’t quote because I can’t remember but it was something along these lines: “Be where you are”.
I’m not where I want to be, but I just started, so maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s okay to really really get back into reading and writing and knitting. Maybe it’s okay to just want to hang out with my dog. I am so tired of reaching and reaching for more and more. I just want to slow down a little bit, which seems counter-intuitive because everyone else my age seems to be ramping up (or maybe I’m just creeping too many Facebook profiles).
That being said, I’m going to try to just be and let that make me happy before I push myself over a cliff trying to go too far, too fast (though it did work for Thelma & Louise).