I’m getting better at calming myself down from those bewildering moments of “I still don’t know what to do with my life?!” I mean, I mainly look at pictures of puppies, but hey—whatever works, right?
This week had me living at home without my family because those lucky rhinoceros’ are skiing and whiling away some time at Mont Tremblant while I feed myself, and take care of 3 animals, go to school, and work 2 jobs. Bitterness is underrated.
So, I had plenty of time to just be (for once in my life). I wasn’t called to go anywhere, I wasn’t asked if I was hungry, and I didn’t have to look at people if I didn’t want to (the fun never stops around here!). Some people might think this was lonely for me, but I think those people are crazy. I mean, sure, eventually it probably gets pretty lonely living this way but I’m so busy that I didn’t have time to think about it. This week was more relaxing than my actual break.
Even if I was bummed about having go back to work/school, I got into a rhythm that worked. I made dinners (not to mention they were yummers). I re-fecking-laxed. It was magical. I pooped with the door open. That, my friends, is freedom.
Maybe I was having a wee bit of an existential crisis (Do I want to WRITE for a living or WRITE for a living?) but through due process it wore off and I went on my merry way. Also, researching those “beau joli” apartments in Montreal kind of helped me imagine how this family free life might translate into Montreal later this year (assuming I get into my first choice MA programs—WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE MCGILL AND CONCORDIA).
All this being said – I have a full day of bumming around my house and finishing those MA apps before my family comes back tomorrow night and ruins everything. Just kidding. Except about the applications—those are due on the 15th, and thankfully (and through the graciousness of more than several graduate coordinators), I am almost done sending all my documentation to finish up the process.