élan in focus

Look up that word, I dare you.

My macbook dictionary told me it was a synonym for liveliness.  And my macbook (Sebastian) does not lie to me.  He does, however, not accept any cds/dvds/circles of plastic into his cd drive anymore.  Perhaps he feels violated? I will never know the real reason because I’m not a good enough listener.

Instead, I’m thinking of buying a new computer.  Although, to be truthful, I’ve been doing perfectly fine with my coked-up computer sans CD drive.  And by coked up I mean “sprite-d up” because I spilled sprite on it 2 years ago and then mistakenly tried to power it on right after, without letting it dry.  But I didn’t know! I couldn’t look up what to do when you spill coke on your computer because I didn’t have the internet.

Which brings me to the not-real-point of this post, which is, wow are we (North Americans) ever dependent on that shit.  This past weekend I had a crapload of studying to do for my “Week of Hell and Damnation,” and Friday night started hunkering down to do some research (on BDSM, no less!) (and no, not that kind of research) to get a jump on my work.

One little hitch stopped me from said “studying” – I had no internet.

Now, if you really want to find a way to panic a university student, tell them that the entire wireless network from your network provider is DOWN and it won’t be fixed for several days.  In fact, tell them this before a weekend of intense studying, essay writing, and all other synonyms for sticking sharp objects in your eyes.

Well, being the predictable human being that I am, I panicked.  Wild-eyed like I had shot up a quarter of an hour ago, I stared down my mother in the most hell-inspired look I could imagine.  (Whereas my mind is generally full of purple elves, sparkly fairies and literary characters cross-breeding with sexual wantons.)

A call to my dad, and his call to Rogers (thanks, communication people, for ruining my nerves) told me that I only had several blissful hours to procrastinate until the internet would once again invade my inner psyche. Joy to all.

Well, the point of this post was really the fact that I was motivated enough to study on a Friday night, but I’m sure you all got the jist of that story from my one sentence summary anyway.  This one was more fun.

What do people do without the internet now? Like, in power outages?  You don’t know what’s going on because you’d use the INTERNET to find out what happened to the internet.  This seems like circular logic to me, but I don’t personally know any other options of finding things out.  You think I have a “people to call when shit hits the generator” list, like they did in the old days? No.  The only people in my cell phone are a Designated Driver, some school friends, my grandfather, and several work colleagues.  Each of those people more useless than the next if disaster was to occur.

I need to make more friends with technicians in large, internet-owning companies, is basically what I’m saying here.

It’s good to have goals.


PS. I know I’m late for the train chugging along to my self-worth, but I totally got an internship @ TalentEgg.ca to be an Assistant Editor.

PPS.  My morning delight: Baracka! Flacka! Flames!


3 thoughts on “élan in focus

  1. “And by coked up I mean “sprite-d up” because I spilled sprite on it 2 years ago and then mistakenly tried to power it on right after, without letting it dry. ”

    Dude I’m just glad you didn’t die. But maybe that’s just me who has horrible fears of being electrocuted by her laptop. Computers make me feel like Zoolander, seriously (“The files are IN the computer???”).


    • Computers are very personable. Some, psychotic. None are kindly old gentlemen passing you the sugar at a coffee shop. So the odds of getting Bundy computerized are way higher than getting like, Mr. Doubtfire.

      Aka: the computer might actually be trying to electrocute you, so proceed with caution.


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