you came along singing your song

Sure there’s things to update you on, like job progression (or staleness?), or essays (rewritten and edited), or exams (totally unprepared for), but I don’t really want to get into all that.

Whenever things start getting focused on school outside of me, I end up focused on everything inside my mind.

For example, all of my thoughts on my friends, that I generally keep deep deep down in a pit of regression behind my liver (not to be confused with ORGAN of REGRET).

What? See, it’s just that I’ve recently had an incredible falling out with one of my best friends.  And I really don’t know what to think.  And I don’t know if she reads this, and if she does, whether she’d be upset that I’m writing about it, or not, and if she doesn’t, well, it doesn’t hurt her if she doesn’t.  And anyway, she thinks I’m selfish and self-centered, so of course I would just be following in my own prints by writing about more of my problems here, right?

I just wonder about certain friendships you’ve all had that have broken apart for one reason or another. I know we’re in different universities, and therefore different cities, but does that suffice?  Did we become different people? Were we really different people the entire time and then the “keeping up” just pissed us off to real-ness?  She says she was tired of the “pleasantries” necessary to keep up with each other when “I didn’t care anyway”…

I think it’s silly saying I didn’t/don’t care.

But that’s just half an opinion of the situation.

But really? I care about freaking stray cats enough to take em home……. I’m just not the sort of person to not care about people that I respect.

But whatever.  You guys have any stories or words of advice?  I just want to hear words from someone’s mouth other than my own.

Ah well, it was a good Sunday anyway, just thoughts twisting in my head.

Arina

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3 thoughts on “you came along singing your song

  1. I think sometimes you have to think beyond your own hurt feelings if a friendship is important to you. You have to look at the situation from your friends point of view, because sometimes people are in vulnerable emotional places where it may not be possible for them to respond in reasonable ways.
    But later on, they will come back to a place where they feel able to deal with all of the difficulties of relationships. Not that you are a high maintenance friend just that sometimes people have no extra emotional energy. Check on your friend and see if she might need support. This may mean another difficult exchange. really you have to ask yourself,is it worth it? If it is then try to ignore the defensive fire get in there and find out what is going on.

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    • I don’t know if I’m able to not be defensive. It’s just that the girl insinuated that I don’t care when I’ve been trying to keep things rolling for the past two years, almost single-handedly. I just think that eventually, you stop wanting to be a friend that’s forgotten. I am not that person, and I refuse to be treated as such. I don’t want to remind my friends to pay attention to me.

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