Christmas Shopping was Invented by Demons

Hello all you christmas elves and such!

I’m sure you’re wearing a “santa hat” as you read this.  Or if you’re not, please contact me and let me know that real people still exist in this world.

Today, after my second exam (Rhetoric? Really?) I went to wake up my lethargic boyfriend from his christmas break sleeping-in glory and drag him to what I thought was going to be a fun time at the mall.  Oh, how very, very wrong I was.  In fact, this comic from Cyanide and Happiness describes what I feel Christmas shopping is:

Christmas Tumor

It's believed they removed it when Jesus was born.

Anyway – it was horrific and I am now tired, and possibly never shopping for new clothes again.  In fact, apart from winter coats, I might just give up on getting clothes all together.  Because I mean seriously, have you guys SEEN the malls?  Recession what what?  Did I hear you mumble something?  Over there in the distance, affecting only people that work in the automotive sector?  Apparently Canada is going by the old standard of “If we ignore it, it will go away.”

We’re obviously spending like ignoring the recession will make it burst into nothingness.  However, I’m not even fully convinced the economic downturn is even happening, but there’s a high chance that that is because I have a strong, radiation-strength aversion to anything business/economics related and therefore know nothing about it.  Ever since high school.  I can’t really explain it, it’s just kind of how I don’t like people making sloppy noises with their mouth.  I stay away.  Maybe that’s wrong and I’m sure when I have to make REAL money (as opposed to the monopoly money I am paying off my debt with right now) I will be more interested in that shit.  As of right now, it doesn’t concern me, as long as my father doesn’t loose (lose?) his job and go into a deep depression.  But, if anyone can enlighten me on some of the stats, I would actually thoroughly enjoy that because I am quite lazy and don’t know where to start appropriating the proper information for a good opinion.  It is certainly not the internet, nor the old drunk men at my bar… so who?

So, as long as that doesn’t happen, I am fine and dandy.  So, again, I am freaking staying the heck out of those malls! They’re CRAZY with a capital HOLY SHIT.  I am buying art supplies and we are making cards and art together with my baby sister (she’s 8, and therefore kind of a bitch already, but calling her a baby both makes HER pissed off and me remember the good old days when she didn’t know how to speak).  That is all.  I still expect presents from everyone else.

Ciao. Arina.

PS. ONLY ONE MORE EXAM THANK THE TREE GOD.  (Okay, I take that back becuse it’s a science exam.  So that wasn’t very nice, tree god, not very nice at all.  In fact, I’m going to stop capitalizing your name.) (Forever.)

EDIT:  Also, Christmas music!

Christmas Graph

So, so, so, so, so, so true. Is it really necessary to bring out Christmas lights/music the day after Halloween?


2 thoughts on “Christmas Shopping was Invented by Demons

    • Okay, and we all have dirty little secrets. But I just hate going into stores I usually enjoy and being swaddled with the smell of impatience and sweat and Jessica Simpson, AGAIN. Mariah Carey, AGAIN. Oyoyoyoyoyyyyyy.

      As long as you don’t make your loved ones listen, that is a-ok with me!


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